[ to his credit he does his best to return the kiss, or to at least lose himself to it. but that's sort of the problem, isn't it? losing himself to it.
Yasuragi's lips feel the same they did back then, he tries not to think, but back then he wasn't like this, he was the one kissing him, his hands wrapped around his throat and his pulse racing wildly beneath his fingers-- ]
No- [ it's more a breath than a word as he turns his face to break the kiss, eyes widened and breath coming up short. ] Wait,
[ a breath. or two... or three, before he answers, ]
... I keep thinking about that house. ... in the chapel, [ he cuts off again, his head swimming as he tries to find a way to explain. he needs to explain. he has to, ]
[ effectively cockblocking himself with words apparently
.... when Yasuragi pulls back to stare at him he casts his face downwards. somehow the silence is worse than any actual words he could have said to him. ]
That's ... that's why, I needed the contract... ... she kissed me, and I blacked out and before I knew it, I... [ cuts off does he have to explain anything more he really doesn't want to he fucked up ]
I was afraid I was going to do the same to you.....
[ ... it's like the strings holding him tense are cut. he presses into that touch, leaning against him with need, his breathing steadier than before. he's still not sure. but he doesn't have to be. ]
[ pets hir hair and presses a kiss to his temple. the not-shot one. ]
Then, for the next few hours, if you're going to bite me, move your arms, move your legs, swing your head or make any other large movements, beg for my permission first and refrain until you've received it.
[ -- that elicits a soft sound almost like a whine as his blood rushes up his skin. you have cute ears too Yasuragi, jeez! but before he can complain or anything he's standing up, to go and sit on the bed.
this autopilot is really convenient for when his brain doesn't want to work.. ]
[ you would think that a man who has no problems walking around half naked most days wouldn't be shaken by being told to strip.
but it's the way it's said. concise, a command, that causes him to hesitate. not that he can actually stop it. his hands move even before he fully processes the order or how he wants to go about it. luckily being suddenly busy with a task means he doesn't actually have to look up at him.
he starts with his shirt, pulling it over his head with ease. without his jacket most of his bullet scars were on full display, as relatively small as they are. but with his shirt off a few harsher, more painful looking scars can be seen-- most notably the large scar in his abdomen as if he had been stabbed, leading almost directly to a scar that goes right down the middle of his chest as if he had been sliced open.
his shoes are next, which he makes relatively quick work of, and then stockings. .... suddenly this outfit is much more embarrassing than he thought it was when he first bought it.
he pauses, glancing back up at Yasuragi, ] ... all of it?
[ I decided he's in the button down and slacks outfit just now bc it's more convenient to take off. he unbuttons the clasp on the cape and lets it fall to the floor as he stasrts to step closer, a belatedly and unhurried approach while he watches Loki the whole time. amused ]
[ look, maybe he was just thinking, that the skirt could stay on or the stockings-- but he doesn't say that because yasun's made himself perfectly clear what he wants.
so without another word he slides his stockings down as well, lifting his knees up with the motion one by one. and he'll have to stand to unzip and slide the skirt down as well as with his briefs. admittedly once he gets to the last bit he gets more hurried, finding it all uncomfortably nerve wracking to do slowly.
he'll take the collar off too if you let him get that far, ]
[ oh. his eyes immediately train on Yasuragi's hand as he's stopped, before following his fingers instead when that hand leaves his immediate field of vision. ... basically he's looking at everything but Yasuragi's face at the moment.
which makes the next command something of a blessing almost. ... almost.
he closes his eyes just as he's pulled into another kiss and he finds himself holding his breath. willing himself not to think, don't think, ]
[ Loki can probably hear the rustle of Yasuragi's hair being undone, the sound of something small dropping to the floor, and a little after Yasuragi's hand leaves Loki's collar, his shirt following suit with a flump. he draws out the kiss, almost lazily, right up until he settles his hands on Loki's shoulders and tugs down on them, urging him to drop ]
[ he wants to see. that's the foremost thought that occupies him as he tries to push down the adrenaline threatening to pump through his veins, forcing himself to focus on every little sound and movement based in reality instead of back in the past. he would ask if he could if his mouth wasn't occupied in tentatively returning the kiss. instead he moves as directed, luckily actually finding the bed without having to look. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
[ to his credit he does his best to return the kiss, or to at least lose himself to it. but that's sort of the problem, isn't it? losing himself to it.
Yasuragi's lips feel the same they did back then, he tries not to think, but back then he wasn't like this, he was the one kissing him, his hands wrapped around his throat and his pulse racing wildly beneath his fingers-- ]
No- [ it's more a breath than a word as he turns his face to break the kiss, eyes widened and breath coming up short. ] Wait,
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Are you afraid?
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
... I keep thinking about that house. ... in the chapel, [ he cuts off again, his head swimming as he tries to find a way to explain. he needs to explain. he has to, ]
I hurt Santa... badly. I almost killed her....
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
he pulls back slowly, straightening up to look at Loki's face and just waiting for him to go on ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
.... when Yasuragi pulls back to stare at him he casts his face downwards. somehow the silence is worse than any actual words he could have said to him. ]
That's ... that's why, I needed the contract... ... she kissed me, and I blacked out and before I knew it, I... [ cuts off does he have to explain anything more he really doesn't want to he fucked up ]
I was afraid I was going to do the same to you.....
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
So you think of what you did to me whenever you're kissed, you mean.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
But you can't hurt me.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
he wants to trust him. he wants to trust him more than himself, ]
... do you promise?
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
[ leans down and touches foreheads again, cupping Loki's face between both hands ]
I promise.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Okay... [ breathes out, soft, ] I trust you.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Then, for the next few hours, if you're going to bite me, move your arms, move your legs, swing your head or make any other large movements, beg for my permission first and refrain until you've received it.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
... he doesn't have to verbally agree. it's already set in place. but , ]
Okay....
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
[ drags his head back by the hair again ]
Tell me whether you'd rather be fucked on the bed or the floor.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
The-- the bed. [ doing his best not to stammer but ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
he leans in to bite the tip of the one closest. ]
Get on the bed.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
this autopilot is really convenient for when his brain doesn't want to work.. ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
but it's the way it's said. concise, a command, that causes him to hesitate. not that he can actually stop it. his hands move even before he fully processes the order or how he wants to go about it. luckily being suddenly busy with a task means he doesn't actually have to look up at him.
he starts with his shirt, pulling it over his head with ease. without his jacket most of his bullet scars were on full display, as relatively small as they are. but with his shirt off a few harsher, more painful looking scars can be seen-- most notably the large scar in his abdomen as if he had been stabbed, leading almost directly to a scar that goes right down the middle of his chest as if he had been sliced open.
his shoes are next, which he makes relatively quick work of, and then stockings. .... suddenly this outfit is much more embarrassing than he thought it was when he first bought it.
he pauses, glancing back up at Yasuragi, ] ... all of it?
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Of course all of it.
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
so without another word he slides his stockings down as well, lifting his knees up with the motion one by one. and he'll have to stand to unzip and slide the skirt down as well as with his briefs. admittedly once he gets to the last bit he gets more hurried, finding it all uncomfortably nerve wracking to do slowly.
he'll take the collar off too if you let him get that far, ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
That's far enough.
[ and he lets go to hook his fingers in a ring on the collar, fussing open his own shirt buttons with his other hand ]
Close your eyes. And don't open them again.
[ and tugs him down into another kiss ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
which makes the next command something of a blessing almost. ... almost.
he closes his eyes just as he's pulled into another kiss and he finds himself holding his breath. willing himself not to think, don't think, ]
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
Re: Day 30 late night, Yasuragi
I thought I replied to this so long ago
REAL
the passage of time doesn't exist
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